My journey to Motherhood...

My journey to Motherhood began long before I was even ready to have a child.

I have loved babies and children as far back as I can remember.  There was never a time in my childhood that I questioned whether I would ever be a Mom.  I just knew one day I would have children of my own.  As a teenager I helped with Bible School, babysat, and was engaged with little ones whenever they were around.  Though I jumped right into college out of high school, I didn’t have any major career aspirations or clear educational goals.  I wanted to be a Mom.

Then life got a bit more complicated.  In my early 20’s, I took a major detour from whatever plans I thought I’d had, and spent the next several years in a dark phase of my life that at times I wondered if I would ever come through.

In the fall of 1996 I became very ill and after months of tests, a hospitalization, and an ER trip it was finally discovered that I had a pituitary tumor that was suppressing my thyroid hormones.  This tumor was believed to be the cause of all of my symptoms, so in July of 1997 I had surgery to remove it.  Over the next year or so it became clear that my remaining pituitary tissue was not functioning at 100% so I began additional hormone replacement.  At this point I became concerned about my future ability to conceive a child so I brought this up with my doctor.  We had a pretty in depth discussion about what it would take for me to become pregnant—It would be a complicated, lengthy, difficult and costly process that held no guarantees.  If I were to become pregnant, that would begin yet another complex phase of monitoring and intervention in order for the pregnancy to continue, again with no assurances.  The doctor looked me straight in the eyes and said, “If you feel that you can be happy with adoption, that is the avenue I would recommend for you.”  

At that point in my life I was not in a serious relationship nor did I know if I ever would be again.  As I was nearing 30 years old I had to decide on a Plan B.  I was back in school with specific career goals and new direction for my life.  Deep in my heart of hearts though, I longed to have a child.  There were many Mother’s Days after the initial declarations from my doctor that I wondered if I would ever be a mother… I did believe in miracles but I wasn’t sure what God’s ultimate plan was for my life.  I prayed that it involved a husband and children, but I didn’t feel that was something I could count on.

By the time Brian and I met in the fall of 2003, to my doctor’s surprise, some of my hormone issues had resolved.  They couldn’t explain why, but I knew God had a hand in it.  I was still unsure what the future held as far as my childbearing capabilities.  Brian and I discussed this situation frankly and though we both desired to have children of our own, we were open to the idea of adoption if necessary.  

When Brian and I got married, I was excited to become step-Mom to Nathan.  Early on I think that our ideas of what this meant were a bit idealistic, and yet this was my first Mom experience.  He was 3 ½ when we got married and already had a good relationship; he had chosen months before to call me “Mama”.  

On Mother’s Day (2004) the first year we were married Nathan was not with us.  Per the divorce agreement, he would be with his Mother each year on Mother’s Day, as he should.  So, my first Mother’s Day was not really a special day for me (outside of honoring my own Mother).  I tried to ease my sadness with the hope that we would soon be pregnant but there was so much uncertainty. Though adoption was still in the back of my mind, I have to admit that there was nothing I wanted more than a little “us”- part me, and part the love of my life.  We were in our mid 30’s so we really felt that the clock was ticking.

A few words from my Mom:

In July of 2005 Marvin and I had experienced such a blessed time together in the presence of God at the Aldersgate Conference. After one particularly moving service, we agreed to seek special  prayer for Melinda and Brian. We knew how much they desired to have a child together, but were unsure of our daughter's ability to conceive with her medical history.

We were led to a prayer team consisting of a young couple, but as we approached the woman was called to the nursery for her own child. As we shared our request with the young man the three of us were amazed at how God had so perfectly matched us up. His wife had experienced nearly identical health challenges leading to a heartbreaking diagnosis of infertility, yet as they trusted the Father and prayed, the Lord had blessed them with their own child. This man prayed with us in absolute faith that God was not only able, but willing to help. After our amen I heard myself speaking these words from my heart; " I believe the Lord God has made Melinda the joyful mother of children! " As those words came forth, we all knew God was speaking..and we praised God together! Later I found that word in Psalm 113:9:

He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the LORD!

 

Fast forward through months of trying and the emotional roller coaster of getting our hopes up only to be let down was taking a toll.  We talked about alternatives, but falling in love with the man of my dreams and marrying him produced such an overwhelming desire within me to carry our child.  It became difficult to imagine anything else.  We also knew there would be few options in our then financial situation.  Our doctor continued to encourage us that “eventually it’ll happen”, but assured us that at our ages insurance would cover appropriate testing if it didn’t occur within a certain time frame.  We were there.  And then I saw two lines… yes, I was finally pregnant!

In 2006 Sweet Emma blessed our lives and we couldn’t have been more grateful!  Now I was a Mommy.  Wow.  I will never forget the moment I laid eyes on her on ultrasound or in person.  It was almost too incredible to believe that this tiny person was created inside me and lived there for so many months developing into the most perfect little being!  We all fell instantly in love!

As Emma’s first birthday approached we decided to try for another baby.  As month after month after month passed by we became discouraged.  We talked about the possibility of secondary infertility and prayed that wasn’t the case.  We certainly felt the clock ticking as by this point we were 37 and 39 years old.  I never dreamed I’d be having babies at this age, but then again, for many years I didn’t really have any hope of having my children at any age.  I was certainly grateful for where I was and all that I had… if we could just have one more child!

Suddenly, we were there… pregnant again.  It came as a big surprise during the week of Valentine’s Day 2008.  We were so excited that within one week we had bought a few tiny baby outfits to celebrate.  I was due in October so we affectionately referred to the little one as “Pun’kin”.  At about 8 weeks pregnant we were shocked and devastated to find out that I was having a miscarriage.  

We did plan to try again once I was fully recovered, but really didn’t even get a chance.  In early May I found out I was indeed pregnant again.  I thank God that it did not take another year of trying.  I really don’t think I could’ve endured that after all we’d been through.  We were nervous after our loss but felt tentatively hopefully.  It was such a blessing that on “Pun’kin’s” due date I was already very pregnant with another baby.  God was so kind to us with this special gift.  Over time we relaxed and embraced this new little one that would soon join our family. Samuel was born in April of 2009 and we adored him immediately.

Samuel turned one and a couple weeks later we were completely shocked to discover that I was pregnant yet again!  Pretty wild considering my medical history and the difficulty we’d had getting pregnant previously!  Lucas completed our family with his birth in January 2011.  He stole our hearts right away!  That year Brian and I turned 41 and 43.  

When we first got married and talked about having babies, it was all so much up in the air… we had no idea where this road would take us.  It has been a journey full of waiting, hoping, discouragement, pain, and joy; and ultimately shows the Lord’s faithfulness and mercy.  We have been blessed beyond belief with each one of our children.  

With each pregnancy and birth I have been in awe at the intricate design involved in this whole process.  It amazes me that life can begin as something so incredibly tiny, yet grow and develop so perfectly.  Each little finger and toes, each organ in their infant bodies, and how they survive and thrive inside my body until it is time for them to flourish on the outside. He is one miraculous God!

Today, I am the mother of four incredible children.  And my wonderful husband is also a great father.  What more could a girl want? 

Mother's Day is one of my FAVORITE days in the whole year!